First things, first...

I love my no boobs! Not quite new boobs because that has to wait until after treatment, but seriously no boobs are fantastic. There is some kind of a bump because of the expanders but that's about it. Nothing else that would make it an actual boob. I think even Alan will be an easy sell. With that being said... ouch! Holy crap, I feel like some took a sledge hammer to my chest. My chest muscles are super sore all the way down to my elbows. (Are chest muscles even connected to elbow muscles? Is that a song?) It's definitely not as bad as it could be, because it's like a dull deep ache. Not like a searing, stitch-ripping pain - like the kind I had when my brilliant nurse woke me up at midnight to sit me up and have me swing my legs over the side of the bed. Her words, "It's time to take your pain killers but I want to get you up and walking so you can go home in a few hours." My words, "How 'bout I take the pain killers and then I sit up in about 20 minutes when they're working?" Her. "Yeah, well I don't want you to take them and then get nauseous when you sit up." Me. "Umm, ok, but I'm not promising much." I already felt like I had been seriously run over by a truck. And over and over. She and another nurse start bringing my bed up. They got about a quarter of the way up and I start saying 'stop. stop. stop.' Any guesses on what happens? After about a seconds pause, they keep going. I muster all my strength to yell (which ends up being close to a regular speaking voice) "Lay me down. Now. Lay me down. Lay me down". I start bawling. Ouch. At this point breathing is extremely painful, so sitting up, yelling and crying is really just to much to handle. My eyes can't focus on anything but I just keep thinking, there has to be a way I can inflict pain on this woman. I thought if she would just bend down a little closer to me I just might be able to bite her on the chin. Now guess what her response is to crazy, sobbing me? Speaking to the other nurse she says, "Should we just swing her legs over real quick so we don't have to come back and do this again?" At this point I say, " I will kill her. I will. I swear I will kill her." I'm not sure why I started using the third person but it seemed to be the only thing that worked. They laid me back, with still more crying from me and she finally bring me the pain meds. In an hour, when we try again and I sit up walk myself to the bathroom and get back in bed with no problem she says, "Wow. Those pain meds really work. I had no idea it was going to hurt that bad." You do still have to go to school to become a nurse, right?

I loved coming home to my sister, friend and husband pampering me at the ring of a bell (thanks Kathryn). And this morning, four of my neighbors rang the doorbell armed with vacuums, mops and a whole lot of Pine Sol to clean my house from top to bottom as I laid in bed. No boobs, clean house and dinners delivered to my door... yeah, I got Cancer...you jealous?

Upcoming events:

Sunday - Sleep and focus on shallow breathing
Monday - Doctor appt to check my drains - oops. Did I neglect to mention I have four drains hanging off of my sides? Gross. You can google it. But in all honesty, I wouldn't recommend it for those with weak constitutions. They will be in between one and three weeks.
After that- After icky drain removal, the surgery to put the port in happens. Once port is in Chemo begins.