So apparently Beth thinks that since the Cancer thing is over, she can now abandon the blog. I have been on her to post some sort of update or at least a post that says "I am no longer going to blog".
We all need to ban together and get her to post. Please send an email or text her and tell her you want an update.
send emails to beth@bookiesandcookies.com
send texts to: 317-605-6337
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Beth Surgery Update - 9:00pm EST
The surgery is done and Beth is now in her room sleeping. They finished around an hour ago. Beth is alert and in good spirits. She is sore but drugged up pretty well. Beth drugged up on any sort of pain killers is some good comedy.
Dr Stallnecker came out and talked with me for a few minutes. He said the surgery went well for the most part. He did say though he had trouble with the right breast. He couldn't get enough blood flow to that area and it was concerning him. He is going to monitor it, but if it doesn't improve he will have to go in and remove it and replace it with an implant.
She will be in the hospital for at least 4 days. If she has to have another surgery her stay could be upwards to a week.
This hospital is unbelievable. Everything is so new and clean. The rooms are nice and big and the nurses are great. Top notch hospital. Torrance Memorial you should be ashamed of yourself.
Dr Stallnecker came out and talked with me for a few minutes. He said the surgery went well for the most part. He did say though he had trouble with the right breast. He couldn't get enough blood flow to that area and it was concerning him. He is going to monitor it, but if it doesn't improve he will have to go in and remove it and replace it with an implant.
She will be in the hospital for at least 4 days. If she has to have another surgery her stay could be upwards to a week.
This hospital is unbelievable. Everything is so new and clean. The rooms are nice and big and the nurses are great. Top notch hospital. Torrance Memorial you should be ashamed of yourself.
Beth Surgery Update - 7:00pm EST
Going on hour number 12. No update from the nurse in the last couple of hours. Not worried just anxious. Dr Stallnecker actually tried to talk Beth out of the Tram Flap surgery last week. He was worried about how long the surgery would take and the increased complications that come from such a long surgery. I can't stop thinking about his hesitation during that office visit.
For those interested, we are Community North Hospital up in Fishers. She will be in the hospital for 3-5 days depending on how she recovers. She will be out of commission for at least 2 weeks and total recovery takes about 6-8 weeks. She will have at least one more minor surgery after she has recovered to complete the procedure. Beth is a quick healer. She went river rafting 3 weeks after Lily was born. So we are hoping that she recovers in time to enjoy some of the summer.
I hope she is out of surgery soon...American Idol starts in an hour.
For those interested, we are Community North Hospital up in Fishers. She will be in the hospital for 3-5 days depending on how she recovers. She will be out of commission for at least 2 weeks and total recovery takes about 6-8 weeks. She will have at least one more minor surgery after she has recovered to complete the procedure. Beth is a quick healer. She went river rafting 3 weeks after Lily was born. So we are hoping that she recovers in time to enjoy some of the summer.
I hope she is out of surgery soon...American Idol starts in an hour.
Beth Surgery Update - 2:30pm EST
2:38pm - nurse Wynn came out to tell me that Beth has been upgraded from "she's doing well", to "she doing REALLY well". The updates have been on the half hour every 2 hours. At this point I am convinced that the nurse has an Outlook reminder set to remind her to come out and tell me that Beth is doing well every 2 hours.
By the way, during an 11 hour surgery how and and when are breaks for the doctor taken? Does he just leave for lunch with Beth laying there wide open? He has to take breaks right? I need to know these things.
We are 8 hours into surgery. I have passed the time with a lot of YouTube, a couple episodes of The Office and even caught up on some behind the scenes of Survivor. On CBS.com you can watch exclusive footage of Survivor including Webisodes of "Ponderosa" - footage of where the members of the jury stay after they get voted out. This is must see for all Survivor fans. Check it out.
I haven't spent all of the last 8 hours watching mindless YouTube clips though, I did learn some interesting facts on what exactly this boob doctor is doing to my wife
Beth got the abdominal muscle flap (Tram Flap).
But most of the time I was watching clips like this one
As good as these guys were, I kept finding myself thinking, "How awesome would it be to work for Google??" I mean this had to be a recruiting commercial for Google right? "Hey come work for Google, we take breaks in the middle of the day to watch a couple of dudes beat box".
People wearing shorts and flip flops to work and not to mention the huge cooler of help yourself adult drinks off in the corner. Smart advertising on Google's part.
By the way, during an 11 hour surgery how and and when are breaks for the doctor taken? Does he just leave for lunch with Beth laying there wide open? He has to take breaks right? I need to know these things.
We are 8 hours into surgery. I have passed the time with a lot of YouTube, a couple episodes of The Office and even caught up on some behind the scenes of Survivor. On CBS.com you can watch exclusive footage of Survivor including Webisodes of "Ponderosa" - footage of where the members of the jury stay after they get voted out. This is must see for all Survivor fans. Check it out.
I haven't spent all of the last 8 hours watching mindless YouTube clips though, I did learn some interesting facts on what exactly this boob doctor is doing to my wife
Beth got the abdominal muscle flap (Tram Flap).
But most of the time I was watching clips like this one
As good as these guys were, I kept finding myself thinking, "How awesome would it be to work for Google??" I mean this had to be a recruiting commercial for Google right? "Hey come work for Google, we take breaks in the middle of the day to watch a couple of dudes beat box".
People wearing shorts and flip flops to work and not to mention the huge cooler of help yourself adult drinks off in the corner. Smart advertising on Google's part.
Beth's Surgery update - 11:00am est
11:15am- Hour number four. Only update from the nurse is that "everything is going fine back there". Thanks for that update nurse Wynn...
Glad there is Wifi in the waiting room, but this wireless network doesn't allow Facebook access. Bummer. Another irritating thing is that there are very few electrical outlets round this place. Running on a low battery and will have to sit on the floor by the women's bathroom to recharge the laptop here soon. That should be fun.
I was way more nervous for Beth's 1st surgery than I was for this one. Her 1st one lasted 9 hours, a couple of hours longer than expected. Was a nervous wreck. I thought this one was going to be a relatively easy surgery. Not the case. Everything is different. Everyone seems so much more focused and business like. We are even in a completely different area of the hospital than the 1st one. Not that there was anything wrong with the way the nurses and doctors went about their business with the 1st surgery, it's just that people are taking this one a little more serious. Everyone has their game face on. Even nerdy little Dr. Stallnecker had a different demeanor to him this morning. That should have made me feel more comfortable right? It actually did the opposite. It made me realize that there is some serious stuff going on here. I guess it all makes sense. The 1st one was chop and remove - how much damage could you do?This one takes a little more skill and attention to detail.
Gotta set up camp outside the women's bathroom...
Glad there is Wifi in the waiting room, but this wireless network doesn't allow Facebook access. Bummer. Another irritating thing is that there are very few electrical outlets round this place. Running on a low battery and will have to sit on the floor by the women's bathroom to recharge the laptop here soon. That should be fun.
I was way more nervous for Beth's 1st surgery than I was for this one. Her 1st one lasted 9 hours, a couple of hours longer than expected. Was a nervous wreck. I thought this one was going to be a relatively easy surgery. Not the case. Everything is different. Everyone seems so much more focused and business like. We are even in a completely different area of the hospital than the 1st one. Not that there was anything wrong with the way the nurses and doctors went about their business with the 1st surgery, it's just that people are taking this one a little more serious. Everyone has their game face on. Even nerdy little Dr. Stallnecker had a different demeanor to him this morning. That should have made me feel more comfortable right? It actually did the opposite. It made me realize that there is some serious stuff going on here. I guess it all makes sense. The 1st one was chop and remove - how much damage could you do?This one takes a little more skill and attention to detail.
Gotta set up camp outside the women's bathroom...
Beth's Surgery Update - 5:30am est
Today Beth goes in for reconstruction surgery. It is an 11 hour surgery that starts at 7am this morning. With 11 hours to spare and some Wifi at the hospital I figured I would post some updates throughout the day.
5:30am - we pull into Community North Hospital. They have this really cool free valet service. This is great when you are pulling in at 5:30am. The only downside is when you're leaving - waiting 15 minutes for them to pull your car around while you stare at it parked 50 feet away.
6:30am - Beth and I meet the Boob doctor (Dr Stallnecker) for some last minute surgery details. Part of this pre surgery visit involves him pulling out the sharpie marker and drawing all over Beth's chest and tummy. It looked like he was drawing up a football play.
7:00am - Head back home to get the kids off to school. I am normally not home in the morning to see the kids off to school - Beth gets the pleasure of directing that circus on a daily basis. All I will say is that our kids don't wake up in good moods.
To be continued...
5:30am - we pull into Community North Hospital. They have this really cool free valet service. This is great when you are pulling in at 5:30am. The only downside is when you're leaving - waiting 15 minutes for them to pull your car around while you stare at it parked 50 feet away.
6:30am - Beth and I meet the Boob doctor (Dr Stallnecker) for some last minute surgery details. Part of this pre surgery visit involves him pulling out the sharpie marker and drawing all over Beth's chest and tummy. It looked like he was drawing up a football play.
7:00am - Head back home to get the kids off to school. I am normally not home in the morning to see the kids off to school - Beth gets the pleasure of directing that circus on a daily basis. All I will say is that our kids don't wake up in good moods.
To be continued...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Good News Bad News
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Goodbye Chemo
I hardly even know how to begin. It's over. No more chemo. No more cancer. It's hard to put into words how I feel about it. I mean, obviously I'm thrilled. But there is some other emotion too that is hard to place.
It reminds me of when I was pregnant with our first baby. I was so excited for the ultrasound to find out if it was a boy or a girl and to see that cute little bugaboo. We find out it was a boy, yay, and then the sonographer says 'ok, let's check this little boy out'. He goes on with the ultrasound, and as he charts and measures he's talking out loud saying things like, 'So his spine looks perfect. We can rule out spina bifida. His head is a nice size so we're not going to worry about Downs.' He went on and on all the while telling me how perfect my little baby nugget was. He walked out of the room and I immediately broke down and sobbed. In those four months of pregnancy before the ultrasound, it never once occurred to me that my baby would be anything but perfect. Hearing all the things that could have been wrong, even though they weren't, left me totally shaken. I cried and cried. I was suddenly so grateful that he was perfect. The rose colored glasses were gone and I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
I can't help but feel similar now. Like, now that it's all over I almost want to break down and cry. What is that? Relief? Maybe. It's more than that though. It's a relief for a worry I didn't even know existed. Gratitude? Yes and no. For sure I am grateful, but I am grateful for many things and this doesn't feel the same. Is it growth? Can you even feel growth? Maybe a combination of the three, or something else altogether. It's definitely something though. I have some seriously strong yet nameless and puzzling emotions going on.
While I try to sort out my emotions, here is the low down on what's next...
It reminds me of when I was pregnant with our first baby. I was so excited for the ultrasound to find out if it was a boy or a girl and to see that cute little bugaboo. We find out it was a boy, yay, and then the sonographer says 'ok, let's check this little boy out'. He goes on with the ultrasound, and as he charts and measures he's talking out loud saying things like, 'So his spine looks perfect. We can rule out spina bifida. His head is a nice size so we're not going to worry about Downs.' He went on and on all the while telling me how perfect my little baby nugget was. He walked out of the room and I immediately broke down and sobbed. In those four months of pregnancy before the ultrasound, it never once occurred to me that my baby would be anything but perfect. Hearing all the things that could have been wrong, even though they weren't, left me totally shaken. I cried and cried. I was suddenly so grateful that he was perfect. The rose colored glasses were gone and I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
I can't help but feel similar now. Like, now that it's all over I almost want to break down and cry. What is that? Relief? Maybe. It's more than that though. It's a relief for a worry I didn't even know existed. Gratitude? Yes and no. For sure I am grateful, but I am grateful for many things and this doesn't feel the same. Is it growth? Can you even feel growth? Maybe a combination of the three, or something else altogether. It's definitely something though. I have some seriously strong yet nameless and puzzling emotions going on.
While I try to sort out my emotions, here is the low down on what's next...
- I see the radiologist on Monday to determine whether or not we are really going to do this radiation nonsense. I say no. We'll have to see if she agrees with me.
- Thursday I meet with the plastic surgeon to schedule reconstruction. When that will take place depends on if we are doing radiation or not. No radiation means we just go right into reconstruction. (Although I'm really not a big fan of boobs, I have to say I am way excited for this. These fake, expander boobs or 'foobs' as we like to call them are really uncomfortable. They're hard as rocks and if you push on them they pop back out like a plastic water bottle. Kind of a neat trick but mostly kinda creepy.)
- I also need to have my port removed. This is supposed to be a lot easier to take out than to put in.
- I have a prescription for Tamoxafin. This is a pill that I'm supposed to take once a day, everyday for the next FIVE YEARS. This may not sound ridiculous to anyone else but me, but I can't see me being successful at this. I don't even finish my antibiotics. They only last a week.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
The Good, the Bad and the Uuuh-gly
OK, I really don't want to do this. It's pitiful to ask. But... C'est la vie. I am. Just deal with it. My friend Amanda had a super pooper day and she blogged about it and got 26 comments! 26! Now I'm not saying it wasn't comment worthy, it was an awesome post, but I have stinking cancer people! This is your moment. If you read this blog, leave a comment. Pretty soon, I will have no need for a cancer blog and we will print it off as a book and your name will be forever there as a reminder of those who laughed and cried and supported us along the way. In no way is this a competition between me and Amanda - (as long as I get more than 26 comments).
Let me start this off with the good. The great even. ONLY THREE MORE WEEKS OF CHEMO!!! Can you believe it?! Hallelujah! Some times it felt like this was going to last forever. But three weeks? I can do three weeks. I can do three weeks and make it look good. The other bit of good news is I'm starting to get a little fuzz going. My heads getting fuzzy (maybe a little more like velcro than fuzz, but I'll take it), and my legs and pits need to be shaved. Yay! Never thought I would be excited about that.
Now for the bad. I have felt so lucky this whole time because I kept my eyebrows and eyelashes...up until now. Seriously? I have three weeks left and I lose them now? What kind of crap is that? And what's worse is I think my fingernails are going to fall off. Uh- I think I just barfed in my mouth a little. I really can't think about that without getting sick. They are starting to separate and leave a space between my nail and finger. OK, really I can't talk about that anymore. Moving on.
The Ugly. As if all the 'bad' wasn't ugly enough, it has been really windy these last couple of days. How is that ugly you might be wondering? Well, let me just say on days like today I wish my wig had a chin strap. I think I may have scared a few of the neighbor kids.
Let me start this off with the good. The great even. ONLY THREE MORE WEEKS OF CHEMO!!! Can you believe it?! Hallelujah! Some times it felt like this was going to last forever. But three weeks? I can do three weeks. I can do three weeks and make it look good. The other bit of good news is I'm starting to get a little fuzz going. My heads getting fuzzy (maybe a little more like velcro than fuzz, but I'll take it), and my legs and pits need to be shaved. Yay! Never thought I would be excited about that.
Now for the bad. I have felt so lucky this whole time because I kept my eyebrows and eyelashes...up until now. Seriously? I have three weeks left and I lose them now? What kind of crap is that? And what's worse is I think my fingernails are going to fall off. Uh- I think I just barfed in my mouth a little. I really can't think about that without getting sick. They are starting to separate and leave a space between my nail and finger. OK, really I can't talk about that anymore. Moving on.
The Ugly. As if all the 'bad' wasn't ugly enough, it has been really windy these last couple of days. How is that ugly you might be wondering? Well, let me just say on days like today I wish my wig had a chin strap. I think I may have scared a few of the neighbor kids.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Cancer is so five minutes ago
I am sorry I have neglected the blog for so long. Especially with the last post being so indulgent. My reason is simple... I AM SO OVER CANCER! I'm bored with it. Aside from my fridays being taken up with chemo, I wouldn't even know I had cancer. No side effects, no sickness, nothing. So here is where I am supposed to say, "I am so lucky! I am so blessed. How wonderful." The problem is that I am so sick of being bald and ugly. It's really the only thing that's going on. Me...being bald. It's not a lot to blog about.
It does make for some good quotes from my kids.
Lily: "Mommy, you're invited to my birthday party. But you'll have to wear your wig or everyone will laugh at you."
Caroline: (As I'm crouched down, tying my shoes.) "You have a shiny, bald head."
Benson: "I love you, Mom. Even when you're bald."
Ella: "It looks like you're wearing a mask." (Because there is a distinct line from where my face has color and my head is white, white, white.)
Ahhh. Good times, good times.
It does make for some good quotes from my kids.
Lily: "Mommy, you're invited to my birthday party. But you'll have to wear your wig or everyone will laugh at you."
Caroline: (As I'm crouched down, tying my shoes.) "You have a shiny, bald head."
Benson: "I love you, Mom. Even when you're bald."
Ella: "It looks like you're wearing a mask." (Because there is a distinct line from where my face has color and my head is white, white, white.)
Ahhh. Good times, good times.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Super Woman
Beth is not one to brag. Well, sometimes she brags. Like when she reminds me that she has never gotten a ticket (in fact she has never even been pulled over), that she is better than me in Brick Breaker (game on my phone), and she ONCE beat me in bowling. Aside from that, she usually doesn't do too much bragging. So, I am going to brag for her: SHE IS KICKING CHEMO'S ARSE!!
She is 4 weeks into this 2nd round of Chemo and she is feeling great. Almost no ill-effects at all. Two weeks ago, she had Chemo on a Friday afternoon and we left for LA the next morning. We flew all day and went straight to the beach after landing. As we were playing volleyball she says, "can you believe I had Chemo only 24 hours ago?"
She is amazing!
24 hours post Chemo and she's ballin it up on the beach
I wonder if the anti -nausea medicine would have help her on this boat ride
Chemo apparently makes you a horrible horseshoe player
Couple random things...
She is 4 weeks into this 2nd round of Chemo and she is feeling great. Almost no ill-effects at all. Two weeks ago, she had Chemo on a Friday afternoon and we left for LA the next morning. We flew all day and went straight to the beach after landing. As we were playing volleyball she says, "can you believe I had Chemo only 24 hours ago?"
She is amazing!
24 hours post Chemo and she's ballin it up on the beach
I wonder if the anti -nausea medicine would have help her on this boat ride
Chemo apparently makes you a horrible horseshoe player
Couple random things...
- Before we left for LA, we told the Chemo doctor that we were going to miss a week of treatment. He said, "no problem, I'll just give you 1 1/2 doses today and 1 1/2 doses when you get back. That way you'll be on track." Hey, Logie! How about we get 1 1/2 doses every week so we can be done about 4 weeks early???
- I have been meaning to blog about a guy that is getting Chemo in the same office as us. He is there EVERY time we are there. He is large man and he likes to sleep during his treatments. The problem is that he is a chronic snorer. It is a thundering snore. I've never heard anything like it before. The reason we haven't blogged about him is that words can't describe this guy. I was going to snap a quick video of him in action last week, but for some reason he decided that he was going to stay awake for the treatment. I will try again this Friday. Until then, I want you to picture a large bear choking on a t-bone steak.
- I knew it was too good to be true. After a lengthy"investigation" on Beth, our insurance company decided to start paying some bills. I was actually pretty impressed with them. Seemed like bills were getting paid and they even sent me a nice little spreadsheet of all the bills they had paid to date and what our out-of-pocket expenses would be. That is when they told us that the boob doctor was "Out of Network" and they would only cover a portion of the bills. This would have been nice to know before he whacked off 2 boobs and rang up a bill of $50,000. I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES - ALL OF THEM. If you haven't seen Sicko, go rent it at Blockbuster or put it in your NetFlix Que.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Cali-therapy Day Four
I told Alan I wanted to blog everyday so I could have a journal of each fun day on our visit home... so he's been doing it on our family blog. What a wannabe. Anyway, he skipped day four so I will fill you in.
Breakfast at Martha's. This is by far my favorite place for breakfast in the South Bay. I know most people would say Uncle Bill's, which is good, but Martha's is better. I get the hummus omelet almost every time. Delicious.
Bike ride on the strand. This is what we would do almost every weekend as a family. This time we of course had to rent/borrow bikes (thanks Caroline!). It was a gorgeous day and even saw dolphins along the way.
We had big plans to go walk around Third Street Promenade but the sun was beckoning. So we put that off, grabbed our bathing suits and hurried back to the beach. Even though the water was freezing, the kids didn't seem to mind. They all ended up wet and had a fantastic time. 
We also went back to the hospital to see more of beautiful baby Eli. Holding that little nugget is almost enough to make me want to have another on
e. Almost.
e. Almost.Saturday, January 17, 2009
Cali-therapy Day One
Even just stepping off the plane you could smell just a hint of saltiness in the air. Like the ocean was sending out its welcome. It was a beautiful thing. Before we had made it to the top of the jet way we had all ready shed our sweatshirts, pushed up our sleeves and wished we were wearing shorts. Today was a gorgeous day, 74 degrees I think.
We hadn't been in LA for more than three minutes when we had our first celebrity sighting of the trip. Elijah Wood (Frodo Baggins) was cruising the airport. We picked up our rental car and drove straight to In-N-Out. After lunch and a quick wardrobe change we were off to the beach. I can't begin to describe how therapeutic it was. It was like going back eight months, to friends and volleyball and warm weather. It was a flash back to simpler times. I think we will try to spend a part of everyday that we're here on the beach. It's just something you take for granted when you have no intention of leaving it... but boy have we missed it. We had time to come home and wash our hands and feet before going to our friends the Brandon's house for a great backyard BBQ. It was exactly what a grieving, bald-headed, cancer patient needed. It was like a metaphorical group hug. Being surrounded by great friends and family, watching our kids play together, like no time has passed. It was beautiful. Truly.
So I think this is it. The cure for cancer. Chemotherapy sucks. It's all about Cali-therapy, or beach therapy, or out-of-the-snow-and-into-the-sunshine-therapy, or whatever you want to call it. But I'm pretty sure it's making a difference. I feel better already.
We hadn't been in LA for more than three minutes when we had our first celebrity sighting of the trip. Elijah Wood (Frodo Baggins) was cruising the airport. We picked up our rental car and drove straight to In-N-Out. After lunch and a quick wardrobe change we were off to the beach. I can't begin to describe how therapeutic it was. It was like going back eight months, to friends and volleyball and warm weather. It was a flash back to simpler times. I think we will try to spend a part of everyday that we're here on the beach. It's just something you take for granted when you have no intention of leaving it... but boy have we missed it. We had time to come home and wash our hands and feet before going to our friends the Brandon's house for a great backyard BBQ. It was exactly what a grieving, bald-headed, cancer patient needed. It was like a metaphorical group hug. Being surrounded by great friends and family, watching our kids play together, like no time has passed. It was beautiful. Truly.
So I think this is it. The cure for cancer. Chemotherapy sucks. It's all about Cali-therapy, or beach therapy, or out-of-the-snow-and-into-the-sunshine-therapy, or whatever you want to call it. But I'm pretty sure it's making a difference. I feel better already.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Chemo Fridays
(This post I started last Sunday, never finished and therefore never posted. Better late than never, right? At least that's what I keep telling myself when I see my big stack of Christmas cards that are still in my kitchen.)
Almost halfway there. Eight weeks down, twelve to go. And if this last weekend was any indication of how the these next weeks will be, well then I think I can handle it. So far, so good. I think Taxol and I might be able to get along, unlike it's ugly cousins Adriamycin and Cytoxin. I am definitely not sad to see them go. One of those little buggers burned the bottoms of my feet and my fingertips. Walking was getting excruciating and assembling Ben's 8 million piece Lego star wars ships that had been left undone for weeks was pretty ridiculous. Like I said before, good riddance. I didn't really have any negative side effects this time. Fatigue and burning eyes, but that's about it. Well, and baldness. But those are all just carry overs so I can't really hold them against the Taxol.
Almost halfway there. Eight weeks down, twelve to go. And if this last weekend was any indication of how the these next weeks will be, well then I think I can handle it. So far, so good. I think Taxol and I might be able to get along, unlike it's ugly cousins Adriamycin and Cytoxin. I am definitely not sad to see them go. One of those little buggers burned the bottoms of my feet and my fingertips. Walking was getting excruciating and assembling Ben's 8 million piece Lego star wars ships that had been left undone for weeks was pretty ridiculous. Like I said before, good riddance. I didn't really have any negative side effects this time. Fatigue and burning eyes, but that's about it. Well, and baldness. But those are all just carry overs so I can't really hold them against the Taxol.
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