The Unexpected

As Alan puts it, "I gots the cancer".

I found a lump in my left breast a few weeks ago and went to the doctor to have it checked out. She said she really didn't think it was a big deal (and neither did I) but they don't like to take any chances. She sent me to a clinic to get a mammogram, ultrasound, and a biopsy. When my eyeballs bugged out of my head at the word 'biopsy' she said "Oh no no no no. Don't you worry. This needle is so small. It's like what diabetics use for their insulin. It's so tiny, it's like a hair." Well, that was a huge relief. I could handle that. So off I go to the clinic. First, the mammogram. For those of you who may not have had the pleasure, let me enlighten you. Naked from the waist up. A machine that opens it's mouth wide enough for your nurse to position your boobs on it's shelf in a very specific sort of way. When she is pleased enough with her work she offers you up as a sacrifice. The jaw begins to lower on you. Lower. Lower. Lower. And just before the pressure is so great that you're sure it's going squeeze them off altogether, the beast stops and the sugary sweet voice of the nurse says, "Don't breath, don't move." like she's singing a song. She snaps the picture and then it starts all over again. She only took two the first time and then left to show them to the doctor. He was obviously not pleased because she came back to do more. I'm not sure if they thought I had a background in circus work but she put me into positions that only acrobats and contortionists are qualified to perform. Next came the ultrasound. Now at least it didn't hurt. However, there is something rather humiliating about having a male doctor, well in his 60's, hose your boobs down with gel and rub a camera on them. I didn't focus on that for long as I quickly became aware that he was no longer looking at the one lump, but four, all in different places on the left breast. After de-gooping myself, he told me that he really didn't think it was anything serious. He thought because of my age (32) and the fact that there were four masses, it was probably fibroadenoma (doctor speak for benign tumors in the breasts), although with the new findings he thought it would be better for a breast surgeon to do the biopsy. Great. Another appointment. A week later I'm in the surgeons office. He also starts off with a boob ultrasound, only this time it is just slightly more embarrassing because he is 30 something. Anyway, he said he is going to biopsy two of the lumps. This is where I spare the squeamish. Let me just say that unless Monstro the Whale is the diabetic, I can't see the insulin needle being a spring loaded gun with and 8 inch hollow metal pipe attached. Seriously. The biopsy was a week ago tomorrow and I am still black and blue. I think it's my fault though. I think I just should have asked more questions. Like when she said "like what diabetics use", I should have asked "like human diabetics or diabetics from the planet Gigantor?" Oh well, lesson learned. This all happened on Tuesday and on Thursday the surgeon called me with the results.

Although this has come as an incredible shock to Alan and I, we can't help but feeling that this is all in God's plan for us and this is going to be a wonderful blessing for our family. Truly. We have been blessed with such unwavering peace from the very beginning that it would be impossible to feel otherwise. As a sweet friend recently reminded me, we need to view our trials as gifts and an opportunity to grow. We are looking forward to strengthening our family, ourselves, and our testimonies of Jesus Christ throughout this experience. We are so blessed.