Saturday, March 7, 2009

The Good, the Bad and the Uuuh-gly

OK, I really don't want to do this. It's pitiful to ask. But... C'est la vie. I am. Just deal with it. My friend Amanda had a super pooper day and she blogged about it and got 26 comments! 26! Now I'm not saying it wasn't comment worthy, it was an awesome post, but I have stinking cancer people! This is your moment. If you read this blog, leave a comment. Pretty soon, I will have no need for a cancer blog and we will print it off as a book and your name will be forever there as a reminder of those who laughed and cried and supported us along the way. In no way is this a competition between me and Amanda - (as long as I get more than 26 comments).

Let me start this off with the good. The great even. ONLY THREE MORE WEEKS OF CHEMO!!! Can you believe it?! Hallelujah! Some times it felt like this was going to last forever. But three weeks? I can do three weeks. I can do three weeks and make it look good. The other bit of good news is I'm starting to get a little fuzz going. My heads getting fuzzy (maybe a little more like velcro than fuzz, but I'll take it), and my legs and pits need to be shaved. Yay! Never thought I would be excited about that.

Now for the bad. I have felt so lucky this whole time because I kept my eyebrows and eyelashes...up until now. Seriously? I have three weeks left and I lose them now? What kind of crap is that? And what's worse is I think my fingernails are going to fall off. Uh- I think I just barfed in my mouth a little. I really can't think about that without getting sick. They are starting to separate and leave a space between my nail and finger. OK, really I can't talk about that anymore. Moving on.

The Ugly. As if all the 'bad' wasn't ugly enough, it has been really windy these last couple of days. How is that ugly you might be wondering? Well, let me just say on days like today I wish my wig had a chin strap. I think I may have scared a few of the neighbor kids.

139 comments:

jksfam said...

Beth, I love you!!! I'm glad that you only have 3 weeks left of chemo!!! Sorry about your eyebrows! That stinks!!! The windy wig thing made me laugh, though. Sorry!

jksfam said...

(adding to your comment count...) I am and have been so impressed with you during all of this! You are a great example! I'm sorry that you've had to go through this. I miss you!

Alan said...

I am actually kind of sad that our visits to the Chemo doctor is coming to an end. I have enjoyed taking 1/2 days on Fridays to be with you. I'll miss the snoring of Jared. I'll miss the good corner. I'll miss falling alseep halfway through your treatments.

We'll have to go and visit after you're done.

Alan said...

just padding the numbers here...

BradandMelanie said...

So you're losing your fingernails? Really? That totally sucks and I'm sorry, but hip, hip horray for just three more weeks! Good luck all the way to number 26 :)

Tara said...

Seriously, how does she get so many comments??? craziness! We'll have to get together some kind of party to celebrate the end of chemo!

Kim Schaffer said...

Hi there. A friend of a friend shared your blog with me. :) I'm going through cancer treatment (for melanoma), too, and she thought I might find your blog inspiring (she was right!). I have two kids (4 and 6). I just had to share that I also have 3 weeks of chemo left, too! Not sure if I will have to do injections at home for the next year. But, at least, the hospital chemo will be done!

Wishing you an amazing healing journey!!!

Kim

Lee said...

At least I am not first. *phew* :) YAY on being almost done. 3 weeks is coming soon. And I am so so sorry about the fingernails. Not something I would want to deal with. No fun.
And the wind.. that made me giggle. Like I told you, you have handled this so well. What a wonderful example you are to everyone. I am lucky to have you for my friend.
Can you believe we have been here almost 11 months? Good crap.

SusGus said...

Only 3 weeks left is awesome! You are in our prayers every night - our kids love to pray for you (even though they don't know you.) And I agree the fingernail thing is lousy!
-Susannah & Jared

Eileen said...

Hey, Beth, I never comment because I don't really have anything to say, but count me amount your faithful blog readers and I'm happy to comment any time you need me to. Good luck getting to 26. And hooray on only having 3 weeks left of chemo!!! You're the bomb. :)

The Gillette's said...

Yay for 3 weeks left!!! You can do it girl! Keep us updated on the last weeks. Sorry about your fingernails. It sounds like it would hurt. Once you get them back Alan can't say no to manicures :-)

heidi said...

Hooray for three weeks! And I agree with you about the wind. My least favorite force of nature. Sorry about the finger nails. Just think how fun it will be to get a manicure when this is all over.

Caroline Osborne said...

I was just getting ready to call you but here's my comments anyways so I can help you get to 26 (I'm still calling though). Comment 1 - you finish chemo in 3 weeks and I will be pushing out this baby in 3 weeks... hmm... my pain begins and yours ends and your hair starts growing back and mine starts falling out :) Comment 2 no eyebrow/lashes stinks - I had that once but mine was a superglue accident - that's fun to explain to people! Yes I'm an idiot. Comment 3 - I HATE the wind!!! Comment 4 - you are strong and beautiful!

patty said...

Beth,

Funny, I just couldn't get you out of my mind today. Why? No clue, just thinking about you and wondering how you've been doing. Now, here you are and I get a chance to help those comment numbers by one more. Although, if you get down to the wire, I'm all for making fake blogger ID's and just commenting "you go, girl!" every couple of minutes. Let me know, and I'm on it! Loads of love from this side of the world...

Candy Javier said...

I found your blog through a friend's and I am a faithful reader. YOU ROCK, LADY!!! You serve as an inspiration to me, your strength is incomparable.

Shelly and Scott said...

You are hilarious. You make me laugh and seem to have such a great perspective on everything your going though. I check in on your blog from time to time. I know Heidi S. Thank you for your real look at what's going on. I truly admire you and your blogging about this experience. Hope the next 3 weeks go well and the wind settles down. Love and blessings to you and your family. I'm sure you'll get more than 26 comments!!!
Love, Shelly Carter

Anonymous said...

You are amazing!!! What a beautiful person you are. I'm so glad you only have 3 weeks left!! Yeah!

Love,
Jenilee

Anonymous said...

Beth-
You don't know me, but I wanted to tell you that I read your blog quite often. You are an amazing person and your blog is an inspiration to me.

Also, I love your (and your husband's) sense of humor.

Amy

Michele said...

OMG, the wig with a chin strap thing nearly caused me to fall off my chair! :)

Heidi said...

Yay for only 3 more weeks!! Make sure you have a party on the last day. The eyebrow and eyelash thing was hard too when I lost my hair during chemo. Get this, I also had the added joy of having braces during the time. Nothing like having a hairless, fat, uniboober to look at in the mirror. lol

RyAriMow said...

I think everyone is still waiting for the blog about the snoring guy. The chin strap comment made me think of a mock commercial SNL would do. I can see it.

Erik and Tammy said...

Beth, I hope you make it to 27 comments! Maybe I will leave another if you get close. I don't really know what to say...I remember when your Mom went through this. She always seemed so positive, and that really helped. That does suck about the fingernails - I really hope you don't lose them, it makes me cringe to think about it! You're an inspiration.

Heather G. said...

A wig with a chin strap is a fantastic business idea. Run with it. Can I be in the infomercial? And for the record, now that I know you have one, I would read your blog and comment even if you didn't have cancer.

Barney Family said...

23, I think my comment will make 24. I know you have been waiting for me to comment-- so here it is!!! I am laughing at Alan's posts. If you want I can post twice then you will only have one more left!! No seriously-- I am so glad for you to almost be done. You are truly amazing and hilarious. I just thought of this-- you are probably eating Spaghetti as you read this. Eat a few bites for me. We are headed to Texas Roadhouse. Talk to you tomorrow.

Unknown said...

If you would like me to create a chin strap for your wig we can do that :). You are such a great example! I am glad that it is coming to an end.

Anonymous said...

Dear Beth, it's Chad. I know it's been awhile, and I have so much more to say than this. But for the time being I want you to know that my heart and prayers have been with you. I do check your blog all the time. It's one of the 3 things I do when I get online. You're a champion and I'm very proud of you, always have been. You're a blessing to everyone you come into contact with.

Please dish out hugs to the family from me as you see them. Miss you all terribly.

Anonymous said...

Right, my last post was my first blog ever. Thought since i was here and having fun, i'd take up spots 25 and 26 to bring you up to the precipice of triumph.

Chad

Stacie said...

Beth,
YOU CRACK ME UP...and make me smile! I would love to see you in a wig with a wig strap! Maybe you should patent the idea!
Hey, I 'm a little late, but...this makes comment 28!!! Way to go my friend! So enjoyed having lunch with you and the neighbor girls, it was fun. Take care.

amanda said...

I am leaving a comment...not for the numbers...well okay maybe for the numbers...but seriously way to kick cancers butt. You are almost done and you have done it with such grace. I am glad you can laugh about it but I know you have days when you aren't so happy. Pretty soon this will all be over and I am glad I could be a part of it. What are we going to do to celebrate?

Kristyn Crow said...

Happy to contribute to the comment count. You go girl. You're my hero.

Debbie said...

Beth, I am a friend of Amanda's and I just read several of your posts. You have kept your sense of humor during a very difficult time. That is amazing!
Best wishes for you.

Anonymous said...

Hey Beth! I think you're on to something... Chin straps for wigs could definately be the next "big" thing! You should see about getting a patent fot it! I miss you and I think you are amazing and such a great example of how to stay positive and see the bright side of life! Another upside of the "gift" is that I never realized how funny Alan is. How did I miss that all this time??? Love you!

Anonymous said...

P.S. I read the other comments AFTER I posted and I noticed someone else said patent the chin strap. Who knows... You could make millions!

Alyssa said...

Beth,

I am a friend of Amanda's. You have been dealt a crappy card as of late with this cancer thing. I am truly sorry for that. It is nice to read a little bit about how you are maintaining some humor along with the UN-amusing realities of fighting your illness. I read a quote from Albert Einstein once that went something like this:

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving forward."

It seems to me that is good advice for all of us in life. Stay focused. Stay moving forward. Don't look back. Maintain your balance in life. You can do it!

And thanks for being the good example to me of someone who is making the best of a situation they did not ask for. I appreciate you. AH

Dawn said...

Hi Beth,
I am Amanda's sister in Utah. I have to admit, I peek at your family blog all the time, but this is the first time I have seen this one. I am so glad you write about your experience.

Cancer sucks!! I hate it. I hate what it does to the people who have it and I hate what it does to the people who watch their loved ones have it.

But... I have also seen the GOOD that it brings out in people. The service, the love, and the kindness. I wish we could learn to do those things without involving cancer.

Manda talks about you all the time.
I wish you well and pray for all those who are battling this ugly disease.

You are inspirational.
You are amazing.
You are strong and...
You have MADE IT.

Congrats to you and your hubby and sweet children.

Off to the next challenge - one that is not so hard this time. You deserve a break.

Much love to you
Dawn Hall

Anonymous said...

I think you guys are two of the funniest people I have ever met!! I am so happy for you that your chemo treatment is almost over :) Hope we see you in the hood sometime soon :)

Anonymous said...

Beth,
I am one of your secret but faithful readers who is dedicated to your blog but fails to comment. There is just too much to say. You are amazing, I love and miss you!

Love, Erin

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading your blog. You and your husband have approached this in such an amazing way. I enjoy reading both of your posts. Good luck with the rest of the chemo treatments. I am rooting for you!

Lyndee said...

Beth, I just love you! I love that you are so dang funny. You may very well be the easiest person to get to know. When you moved here I was slow at getting to know you. I am going to blame it on that I am in Young Womens. Then I heard that you had breast cancer. Then I was worried that if I pushed getting to know you you would feel like it was just because you had cancer. So I waited and then there was girls night at Bravo's. You were so laid back and so fun to be around. So that was a long story but I am so glad I got to know you. You are an awesome lady. I am so excited you have 3 weeks to go. We need to have a girls night to celebrate.

Katie said...

Beth, your story about the windy wig made me laugh like I haven't laughed in a long time. I love reading your blog(s) and knowing that you're holding up so well despite the adversities thrown your way. I miss being in the same ward as you, too.

Erik and Tammy said...

Almost 2 weeks left. Time flies. I didn't want to be one of the few who only left 1 comment. Hang in there. Hope all is well.


Erik

kami @ nobiggie.net said...

Stinkin' cancer is right! I think it is amazing that you only have 3 weeks left of Chemo and you still say things like c'mon people! Good for you!

kami @ nobiggie.net said...

ps. I just felt both my boobies...the little one and the big one.

kami @ nobiggie.net said...

pss. Hi Beth! I am Amanda's friend. :)

Anonymous said...

WOW! 44 to date, and although i'm a little late, it doens't mean you're not my best mate, let's just blame it on kate (had to get one more "ate" in there). eyebrows are very important. they are to protect your eyes from your sweat so please please don't do any major exercise.

love you!

The Wents said...

Beth, I'm so happy for you. Your almost done! I admire your journey and for all the inspirational and funny things you have said and done along the way.

Nau Willis said...

Beth!
Im so glad that you have this blog it helps make me feel like although you are struggling with this nastiness you are ok.
I should say that my dad died of cancer (is that bad to say on your blog? if it is Im sorry) BUT I WISH so bad that he had your options and strength of couse due to the fact that he was MUCH MUCH older than you.
Its been very inspiring to see your little family just back you up! Ie, Alan cutting your hair, the kids and thier fun letters to you for bday! You are my hero. You are in our prayers and we love you and the family a ton!!!
All our best ALWAYS
from US!!!

Anonymous said...

Beth, Congrats on the comments! Watch out blogosphere!! Since reconnecting on Facebook, I have been reading your blog. I'm not at all surprised that you have become a source of inspiration to so many. You've got a gift. We send our love and hugs from California! I won't be a silent blog reader anymore :)

love, Gabby

The Gillette's said...

OMGosh 48 comments! 49 with the one I'm leaving now. That is a lot. I don't think I have ever seen so many :-)

Anonymous said...

Beth, I love reading your stories. You have such a wonderful outlook on things. I love that you can laugh... and have enjoyed hearing your stories in person and laughing with you. You are an inspiration with your good humor! I am SO glad that you only have 3 weeks left. It has been too long. (I think at the first treatment it had been too long!)

Kirstin said...

the windy wig thing made me laugh too! beth, you are such an amazing person. your blog is so uplifting (and downright flipping funny at times) despite your challenging journey. thank you for being so courageous and bold and true. you are an inspiration to all.

xoxo
kirstin

Anonymous said...

So I am a little late on the commenting, but late is better than never...right? Plus, now only 2 weeks of chemo left! You are such a champ and should win some kind of an award. I always look forward to your next post. You have such a great sense of humor. Miss ya!

Tiff

Anonymous said...

Hey my fav girly! I of course want to help your cause for more comments!! Glad to see the sun come out which means we can all come out of our holes we've been living in during the winter and see you guys again!! Yeah for only 3 more weeks of chemo!

From Cheryl the Edward giver...Riley does not miss him!

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

I just hopped over here from Amanda's blog to help with your cause! 54 comments now leaves her 26 in the dust...haha :)

This is my first trip to your blog and I just have to say you are a crack up...a chin strap for your wig??? Talk about making lemons out of lemonade! I am impressed.

And only 3 more weeks? That's awesome!

The Gatherum Family said...

Beth,
YOU ROCK! I am a friend of Amanda's and I just read a bunch of your posts and girl, you are awesome! Cancer SUCKS-SUCKS so bad and way to go that you have beat it in the A#$. GOOD FOR YOU. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND WAY TO GO ON 55 COMMENTS!
Adrian Gatherum

Cheri said...

Wow, you quadruple the amount of comments I ever get!

I love reading your blog. I don't know you guys all that well but my mom ADORES you and I sure look up to you, especially after your kindness in sending me a sweet gift afer Macie died.

Hang in there - we're all rooting for you! Go do something wild and crazy when you're done.

Jenna said...

Hi Beth! I am a friend of Amanda's and I just wanted to let you know how much you have impressed me. Your attitude is amazing. You will be in my prayers!

betsy clayton said...

have courage! i am a friend of amanda's. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 1/2 years ago, while she was 5 months pregnant.. so, i am sitting here in tears reading your all too familiar story... my sis is doing well and she had a healthy baby, while going through chemo,masectomy,etc.. all that fun stuff.. i am totally going to have her read your blog! stay strong! and i wish you the best! love betsy

Sara said...

I can comment! For some reason, my internet filter decided (just lately) to block your site. Weird, huh. But Joe fixed it, so now I can comment!

I'm glad the end of chemo is near. Hooray. And I'm excited to see what your "new" hair looks like!

S1CROW said...

Hang in there Beth, you are an incredibly strong person and woman. We have you in our prayers, and it is amazing how you can perpetuate smiles while going through such a tough time. Love ya.

hales said...

Well Beth -- you know that the fingernail thing is really making me feel crappy for you. It's all about the nails. Do I need to book a flight out there? But you can paint over skin, right?? I mean, people go outside the lines with their lipstick all the time (don't make me name names), so why can't we do that with polish?? Who made these hard and fast rules anyway? (oh wait -- it was probably me.)

Elizabeth Brownsen said...

Better late than never with the comment, I guess. What made me laugh was the idea that if your fingernails fall off you would have to get Lee Press On Nails (like junior high) and then if the wind was bad enough you would need a strap to hold each one on, also. Bad picture in my head, kind of Beth Scissor fingers.

Blanchards said...

Beth ~ The ugly one is the best...I am sorry but I was laughing when I read that. If you ask my opinion, you are up there with Demi Moore's bald head...who has a head shaped so perfectly, really? I am so excited you are almost there my friend. You have been an example for everyone...It makes me feel so good to have someone like you count me as a friend. We talked Sunday on how we are somewhat defined by how we endure life's trials...the talk was called Come what may, and love it...we talked about your family and how you have endured and still have enjoyed life and have grown in love. You two are amazing.

Valasi Satini said...

Beth I just wanted to say that I love you!!!! :)

Amy said...

64 comments!!! I think mine makes 65. (Geez) That should make you feel loved. REALLY loved, because you are.
I'm so happy for you that you are almost done with Chemo. You've made cancer look like no big deal at all and you're so beautiful! Way to go Beth!

marci and brian said...

Hi Beth, Yeah on the 65 comments. You kicked Amanda's butt, whoever that is :). I'm sorry it's been so long since I've been to your blogs. I sometimes forget a lot of things. My brain isn't working correctly without REM sleep. I saw on Facebook you're done with chemo today! I am so happy for you that it's over. We love you. You have so many people that love you. I can't imagine knowing or even having 65 people to comment on my blog (if I had one, which I probably never will). Love you! So cute the the comments your kids made about your baldness.

Cathryn said...

I am comment 67!! You are such a fun person, I am so glad you have dominated this cancer thing!! I can hardly wait to read your NEXT blog!

brynn said...

oh beth--i'm late i know. but we are supporting you and have cried with you and now we're laughing with you. i have a great imagination...and i LOVE to imagine you in the wind. glad it's over. hope you are feeling good!

Smith Party of Five said...

So I was gonna get on here and post several comments for your numbers but you obviously don't need any help there! You are so loved! You truly are an inspiration to many, not just because of the cancer. I am so glad to have gotten to know you and to have you as a friend! You sure kicked cancers butt!!

The Adams Family said...

Wow, I read this post AFTER you already had ^( . . .69. . .ok, you can't capitalize #'s! I think you won ;). I am so impressed w/you and your amazing strength. I am SO glad to have met you and your family. Your whole family rocks!!!! I love you!!

Vicki said...

Ma Petite soeur - je t'aime! I have just caught up with your blog through Heidi's blog. So I have sat and read through your blog and I have laughed and I have cried. I didn't realize all you have been going through. Oh my gosh, what a tough year 2008 was for you. You have an amazing family! I am so impressed with all of you. From Allen shaving your head, along with your daughter, to the update on your surgeries. You are inspiring and uplifting a lot of people with this blog. Keep it up. We will keep you in our prayers. I have such fond and fun memories of you and I want you to know that I do love you! May our Heavenly Father continue to watch over you all. Much love coming your way. Vicki

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