Tomorrow I have the port put in. I have to say that although it is a very minor surgery, I am absolutely dreading it. Anything sticking out of me totally gives me the heebs. Anyway, it's minor. I think the procedure is 30 minutes and I go home like an hour later.
The truth is that this whole thing totally sucks. I'm sick of surgeries. I'm sick of IV's and general anesthesia. It's not the mastectomy or even the chemo (although I am seriously doubting that something that makes you so terribly ill can be beneficial to an already sick person, but that's a different post). It's all the incidentals along the way. The scars from the drains, the scars from the sentinel node biopsy, this stinkin' port. What the crap. I don't want people to poke me anymore. I don't want anymore antibiotics (did I mention that I have strep throat?). And I just finished a round from after my last surg. I don't want to have more general anesthesia. I don't even like taking Tylenol. Seriously, it's getting old.
I have to say that it is one of those 'black heart' days anyway so I probably shouldn't be blogging. Well, I check in at 11:00a, surgery at 12:00. Home by 2:00. Puke from 4:00 on.
I'm thinking that one good thing about the port is that on days like today when I am a total grouch, I could self medicate and just mainline some chocolate. That might be a fun experiment.
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3 comments:
Hey lady...I know I live across the street but wanted to say we love you and one of these days maybe you can poke someone back....don't know how but I bet we could figure out a way! :) Just blame it on the painkillers and say you don't remember a thing about how that needle got stuck in that docs behind......
if you are in anyway suggesting you need chocolate you know we're on it. just say the word and a box of sees is on the way. the only thing i can relate to is the strep throat and that alone deserves lots of sympathy. you need the chinese watermelon throat spray. have i ever told you it's magical :)
Oh Beth I feel for you!!! I am so sorry about the strep, the more surgies, and the yucky chemo. You are so strong and your endurance amazes me! I am always a phone call away and I would do anything for you!
Kellie
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