Pretty uneventful day health wise. No major changes to report. At this point, no news is good news.
I often get asked “How are the kids handling all of this?”. Relatively speaking they are handling things very well. We try and talk to them as much as we can, even when they would rather not talk about it. We encourage them to ask questions. Often, I catch myself about to post something to this blog that we have not yet shared with the kids. We never want our kids to find out important information via the blog. There have been many times I have had to shelf an update so that I could make sure each of them were in the loop.
They each have their own way of dealing with cancer. Ben likes to immerse himself in a laptop or video games (what 16 year boy doesn’t?). Ella likes to study, study, study. She loves to learn, but I also think her studying allows her to keep her mind occupied and allows her to get answers to problems, where that is not the case in real life right now. Caroline by far is the child that is most outwardly emotional. She wears her emotions on her sleeve. Lily can be the sweetest thing in the world but she can also be a nightmare. She likes to wreak havoc by starting fights with her brother and sisters and causing overall chaos in the house. I sat Lily down one day and talked to her about her behavior and after a long time she broke down, cried and said that she has “so much anger built up...," “I just don’t know how to let it out”.
Each of them have their moments where they break down and act out. Usually it is over something so trivial and meaningless but we try to be patient and know that is usually an outlet to let some steam off.
For as long as I can remember one of the things Beth has always said has been, “I just want my kids to be best friends. I want them to be there for each other”. To be honest, I can’t say that my kids are there yet. I know they love each other very much but they just haven’t quite learned how to lean on each other, trust each other and really open up.
I got a text the other day from a friend of ours that lost their mom when they were young. She said that her relationship with her brothers and sisters were strengthened as they dealt with the passing of their mother. She said they became so much closer after she died.
Beth and I pray each night that our kids will learn to rely on and support each other when times get tough. There is really nothing that Beth wants more than to have her kids be best friends.
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4 comments:
Your kids are amazing! They will definitely be best friends! I have 4 sisters and 1 brother and it took a LONG time for us all to become as close as we are now! But they are so lucky to have each other! They will be able to lean on each other and build each other up! Love you all! 💗
My kids friednship and reliance on each other grew significantly stronger after they had both graduated from high school and were facing similiar life events. Although they finally realize we parents can be a great source of advice and council - it is great to see them become more independent and rely on each other more often. I'm confident your kids friendship will only strengthen over time.
Although my family growing up did not have something as difficult as what your awesome kids are dealing with, my other 5 siblings and I were not close...until some point as older teenagers, our maturity seemed to finally kick-in, and the pettiness of childhood squabbles melted away to deep trust and friendship. Given the maturity of your kids, and what they are going through, I believe they will be there so much faster than what I experienced. I do not doubt that the prayers of you and Beth will be answered.
*The day after my mom passed away, I couldn't find my purse. I kicked a hole in the wall. I thought I was doing ok. Guess not.
*I absolutely do not know what I would do without Travis. We've needed each other more because my mom is gone. We were best friends in childhood, then distanced through the teen years (totally normal. everyone is going through different stages, trying to figure themselves--and hormones--out. He's one of my best friends. My youngest brother is catching up a bit too. :)
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