Time to Shut it Down (visitors) - Aug 27th

Very tough day today. We have made a decision that visits are no longer able to happen. Beth has been asleep for 2 days now. She is not eating or drinking and is not very responsive when we try and wake her. She has a hard time communicating or keeping a train of thought. I hope you all can understand that we need the time we have left (especially time when she is alert and awake) to be with family.

For those out of state that were trying to come visit Beth soon, please consider replacing a visit now with a trip out for the funeral services. They will be held in Kirtland at the Stake Center.  

For our local friends, we can’t thank you enough for all of the time spent and love you have given Beth. Beth had three visitors today and none of them were able to talk to Beth as she never woke up. Visitors have been a source of anxiety and concern for Beth lately. The last 3 or 4 days Beth has been very anxious knowing that people were going to be coming over and that she would feel the need to be awake or converse.  We have decided to take that stress off her plate and shut down all visitors.  

Lastly, I just looked on Beth’s phone and she has not replied to a single text since early Wednesday (and even on Wednesday she only replied to two people). I just wanted to let you all know so that no one gets offended that she is not responding.  

Today I made it a point talk to each kid one on one and let them know that time is short. Lots of tears but all of the conversations went well. I am going to let the kids decide if they want to stay home from school this week and be with their mom.  

Tough conversations are much easier while eating a Swenson's Burger

I remember asking Dr T. a few months ago what to expect the last few days before Beth passes.  She said, Beth will sleep more. She won’t be able to communicate much.  She will not want to eat or drink and she will become very weak.  She will basically fade away.  I hate that I see that this is what is happening.  

On Wednesday, after her panic attack because she couldn’t breathe, I told her that I am not ready for her to pass.  I asked her if she was ready and she said, “Some days I think I am”.  

When Lily and I were talking tonight, she said, “Dad, I don’t want you to get remarried.”  I asked why not. She said, “You don’t need to, you have me.”  Oh boy, did I ever lose it.  

Man this sucks.